The Key to Success
What does engagement have to do with success as a leader, a salesperson, or an entrepreneur?
How do you make a genuine connection with someone when trying to coach, lead, or sell to them?
How do you effectively manage different personalities under stress?
These are frequently asked questions among my clients. The answers require a bit of training and a LOT of practice.
The key to success lies in how well you connect with and engage the people you are trying to coach, lead, or sell to. If you can genuinely engage people with different communication styles and backgrounds - make them feel seen, heard, and understood - they will trust you with their business and their lives.
I have worked in the people business since I was a child, helping at my grandmother’s clothing boutique in Little Havana, Miami. Her clients loved her and kept her book of business full. My grandmother Lilia was a Cuban exile who arrived in Miami with no command of the English language, no money, nowhere to live, not even a formal education. What she did have was a fierce work ethic, a strong vision for her family, and an innate sense of how to connect with people.
The result?
Financial independence, several successful businesses, and the realization of everything she envisioned for herself and her family. I observed and learned. What was her magic?
The secret to her success was her ability to engage.
The Key to Inspiring Loyalty
My first job in hospitality was as an 18-year-old singing waitress in New York City. When working with people in high-paced environments, either you quickly learn how to connect with different personalities or you fail miserably. I was on my own and determined NOT to fail.
I studied my coworkers that were most successful, the ones that had a steady stream of regular customers. I watched how they interacted with their guests in a relaxed and natural manner, anticipated their needs, and inspired loyalty.
What made those customers return to them repeatedly, asking for them by name?
Those regular customers felt cared for and genuinely engaged. Even when mistakes happened, they were quicker to forgive. I realized that the top sellers were the most adept at adapting – adapting to situations and to the personalities they served.
The same concept applied to the most successful managers. What made us want to go above and beyond for some, while for others – not so much? The managers who genuinely and consistently connected with us were the ones we could never say “no” to, even when asked to work that extra shift or stay much later than we expected or wanted to.
Working for years in the hospitality industry was a profound education in customer service and conflict resolution. I grew confident in my ability to handle even the most difficult customers successfully and developed strong relationships with many regulars.
Then, I became a manager. The game was about to get a whole lot tougher!
Serving external customers is one thing, but what about caring for the “internal customers”? This seemed like an entirely different animal. Suddenly I found myself managing the teams I used to be a part of. This is a challenging shift for most new managers. What I had learned thus far, coupled with my natural people skills, helped a great deal but was insufficient when I found myself challenged by the personalities I found most difficult to lead – the ones completely different from me, or sometimes the ones too much like me.
Then, I was introduced to DISC. Game changer!
The DISC Connection
The DISC Assessment is one of the most trusted tools utilized by highly successful companies worldwide to build productive teams, improve customer service, and sharpen sales skills.
When we understand DISC, we can take things less personally and quickly adapt to other people’s communication styles. It is not about changing who you are but about making a connection in order to accomplish a shared goal. When I first grasped this concept and truly put it into play, I was astounded at the quick results I experienced. Suddenly that “reticent employee” became my most trusted supporter. Those difficult regular guests everyone dreaded, including me, became my most gracious and loyal cheerleaders. Game changer!
What is this sorcery?
No sorcery involved here, but I do believe it’s quite magical if wielded well. DISC is a tool, an assessment that determines things like how someone will tend to communicate, how they want to be approached, and what they most value. A thorough assessment will indicate which of four basic behavioral styles a person will tend to default to. This is what we call their Natural Style.
Have you ever struggled with getting your point of view across to someone that seemed to move, talk and even think at a different pace than your own? Did it feel off-putting or challenging? For example, perhaps you naturally tend to approach things in a slow and conscientious manner. When a fast-paced person starts to rush you along impatiently, you may feel dismissed. How rude! Right? Maybe not. Different behavioral styles have different paces and priorities.
Who Am I Really? Natural vs. Adapted Styles
What happens when your role at work or even in your family dynamic forces you to flex beyond your natural style to cope with the demands placed on you?
A comprehensive DISC assessment will show when a person is "flexing", or manifesting a behavioral pattern that does not come naturally. This is called their Adapted Style. Some people have been flexing for so long they don’t even realize that’s not who they really are.
People may adapt and change how they show up in the world because of career demands, cultural norms, or even changes in professional roles. For example, a naturally slow-paced and reserved person may shift to becoming more fast-paced and direct when placed in a high-pressure sales role. This shift may be done successfully, but flex for too long or too far from what comes naturally, and it can produce a significant amount of internal tension.
Just because you can do something well doesn’t mean it will ever feel natural.
For example, I have never been a fan of long and analytical administrative tasks, much preferring to work on more social, active, or physically dynamic activities. My husband, on the other hand, loves the analytics – give him charts, graphs, and numbers, and he is a happy man. As a business owner, I have had to become adept at it, but I will never adore it. When I have a day of deep administrative work, I feel more worn out than a 12-hour day on my feet delivering keynotes and workshops!
Flexing produces mental tension, even if you have done it successfully for years. Working with a DISC-certified coach can help you learn how to identify and manage this tension effectively.
As far as external tension, knowing how and when to adapt is key to conflict resolution. It helps tremendously if you have Emotional Intelligence training, a good grasp of the DISC principles, and tons of practice. I am still practicing everyday - just ask my husband.
I quickly found DISC so valuable in all areas of my life that I decided to become a certified DISC practitioner. It’s one of the most essential tools in my coaching and corporate training toolbox.
The Four DISC Clues
There are many different types of assessments used today by companies, leaders, and coaches to understand and manage people. The reason I personally prefer DISC is that I find it to be very user-friendly. I teach my clients how to quickly apply this tool in professional and social settings. It begins with an understanding of the four basic DISC clues:
- PACE - Are they fast-paced or slow-paced?
- FOCUS - Are they people-focused or task-focused?
- APPROACH - Are they direct or indirect?
- RECEPTIVENESS - Are they open or guarded?
These are questions you can easily find the answers to within a few minutes of a conversation. Based on these clues, I help HR professionals formulate interview questions that indicate what types of roles candidates would be best suited for. In leadership, I help managers understand how best to approach a sensitive conversation or have more effective 1:1’s with direct reports based on their DISC profiles. The applications span every type of interaction you can think of.
In order to form a meaningful connection, you are looking for quick clues to determine how to adapt your own pace and style for optimal communication. Adapt as needed to meet them where they are.
Adapting = Engaging.
Let’s take a quick glance at the four styles and how the clues relate to each:
The Four DISC Styles At A Glance
1: The D is for Dominance
• Fast-paced, Task-focused, Direct, and Guarded
• Likes to drive actions and decisions; results-oriented
• Prefers to work independently or manage others freely
• Prefers bullet point facts over long, drawn-out explanations
2: The I is for Influence
• Fast-paced, People-focused, Direct, and Open
• Life of the party, enjoys entertaining and making others laugh
• Needs bullet point directions or can get quickly distracted (Squirrel!)
• Big, creative ideas; can struggle with follow-through
3: The S is for Steadiness
• Slow-paced, People-focused, Indirect, and Open
• Very concerned about supporting the team and their needs
• Works best in groups with well-defined processes and procedures
• Stability and loyalty are highly valued
4: The C is for Conscientious
• Slow-paced, Task-oriented, Indirect, and Guarded
• Relies heavily on data, strict rules and structure
• Prefers to work alone and is slow to make decisions
• Often feels their way is the most efficient and correct
Now don't be perplexed if you see yourself in more than one of these. It is possible to have high tendencies in multiple styles. A comprehensive DISC assessment by a certified practitioner will provide you with detailed information about your individual combination, your natural and adapted styles in the various areas of your life – work, personal, relationships – and offer insights to help you improve your ability to communicate with others and avoid external and internal stress.
Why Does DISC Matter?
Making a meaningful connection is the first step to establishing meaningful relationships.
How important is that to you?
Well, it should be important to anyone in:
- Sales
- Management
- HR
- Customer Service
- Hospitallity
- Parenting
- Marriage
- Life in general!
When you can master this tool, you will better understand yourself and those around you so that you may tap into the true power of engagement. If you can do that, you can achieve success in any endeavor, personal or professional.
*Contact us today to learn more about our DISC assessments and training programs.
